MY GHOST MONTH
I lost my voice for an entire week, right after recovering from the flu the week before. It was tough, especially since we’re in the middle of producing the Eyes See You One Shot Manga. As the writer, I don’t do the drawings, but I still need to explain the little details. And when you can’t speak, that becomes frustrating. Most days, I was stuck in bed with my phone, and sometimes I couldn’t even hold it because I was coughing too much. All I could do was rest and sleep.
Even though this reflection is coming two weeks late, I still want to say this:
First of all, thank you to all the artists I met at Patrons of the Arts. It was my first time attending, and I wasn’t expecting much, knowing how many talented creators were there. To be chosen as one of the artists to showcase my work was an honor. Becoming a writer was always my dream, and living that dream now still feels unreal. I’m learning not to discount my successes, because convincing someone to read a book you wrote, especially when it’s “just” an eBook and not a physical copy, is a huge achievement. I’m endlessly grateful for the support and kind feedback I’ve received.
Writing has always been my passion, but like many artists, doubts often speak louder than belief. Not everyone makes it, and I’ve wrestled with that reality. But what I’ve come to hold onto is that my writing works because I rely on the One who called me to this purpose. I write because of Him. This was something I once dreamt of but never thought I’d return to. And yet here I am, brought back by God. After walking in so many different shoes, “author” was the one I never thought I’d wear. If you know my story, you’d understand the road here wasn’t easy. But I’m not saying this to rant… it’s simply a reminder that the road may be long, but the destination makes it worth it.
Now it’s September, and I can’t help but think of the song “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” For years, this month has felt like my personal “ghost month.”
It’s the month of my love anniversary with my first husband. The month he proposed to me in front of our families. And the month he passed away.
For a long time, I avoided doing anything meaningful in September. I carried guilt for living when he wasn’t, worried people would think I didn’t care anymore if I moved on. But the truth is, his loss will always be part of me. What happened scarred my soul deeply.
And yet, even when the days feel silent, creativity stirs underneath. Ghost months don’t mean nothing is happening; they mean seeds are growing underground, waiting for their time.
I don’t claim to be wise. I’m just like anyone else, trying each day to become a better person. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s to never lose hope. Nothing in this world is promised, but the One who holds everything is not ready to let us go.
And when your ghost month, or ghost days arrive, I hope you remember that too.